All human relationships are triangular, there is an invisible Third party who holds stakes in every exchange and whose right should not be violated. For the child of God, this is more so. We are supposed to walk with an awareness of the reality of God’s involvement in all our relationships. Such relationships could be in business, politics, family, friendship, love or marriage. Eventually, mankind would be required to show how fairly they have dealt with the Unseen Third party in their earthly relationships.
It is imperative therefore, for God’s child to live in an ever-present consciousness of His presence in all her dealings. This was one critical factor that made a difference between the turn of events in the life of Joseph and that in the life of Samson. In one single verse of the scriptures, we see summed up the core principle that should undergird the choices and decisions of every child of God whether in private or public, in church or in the market places of this world.
Joseph said, “how can I do this thing and sin against the Lord?”
In Joseph’s understanding, the offence would not be so much against Potiphar his master as much as it would be an embarrassment to the Lord his God. To that end, his choice was clear. There could be no compromise about this, because the interest of the Unseen Third party in that exchange has to be protected.
Consider on the other hand Samson. A man so anointed of God that mighty works, which no man has yet to replicate were wrought through him, yet he had not God in His consideration. He only remembered God after he had fully borne the consequences of his jettisoning of the God who chose him.
IMPERATIVE FOR MAKING GOD FIRST IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS
A business opportunity, for a true child of God, is not yet a deal, unless it fully satisfies the principles of the Word of God. Any grey area noticed in the deal indicates a compromise of their Christian convictions. The child of God knows straight up that that deal is no deal!
Now, this is so much so in Christian marital and pre-marital relationships. The Word of God couldn’t be clearer than it is as far as God stance is in this matter. Consider with me 2 Corinthians, the sixth chapter from the fourteenth to eighteenth verse
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you. And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
You see in verse 14 how the Holy Spirit speaks to us through His minister Paul that we be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers. We must understand that He is saying this for our good for if the yoke is unequal, the walk will be unsteady. Is it therefore a wonder that the Christian walk of many of our brothers and sisters has become unstable, inconsistent and halting since they took the yoke of that relationship upon themselves? It is absolutely inconvenient, to say the least, and damnable to say the worse.
THE PRICE OF RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD
When you consider the value, the worth, the price of the relationship you now have, or used to have with God, you would then realize that venturing into such an engagement was a huge manifestation of folly. Nothing, in this entire universe is worth accepting in exchange for the relationship we have with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. It isn’t a gift to be loosely handled or lightly thrown away.
Now, it is quite a self-evident fact that the most important decision anyone would have to make, after the decision to follow Jesus is the decision about whom to marry. That’s why you’ll want to pause and ponder so you won’t wander.
COMMON REASONS FOR COMPROMISE IN CHRISTIAN MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS
We should ask ourselves what exactly the reason is why Christians let go of their relationship with God (or at least water it down) when they enter into pre-marital or marital relationship? Here are some reasons I would like to highlight. They aren’t exhaustive:
- Pressure to adjust to fit the doctrinal and/or church beliefs of the partner.
Whereas we all are children of God, we should not be afraid to confront the fact that the greater part of the church of God today has compromised. We would have to be honest to tell you that the pasture from which your to-be spouse feeds from would determine to a great extent the depth of his root in God.
- Desire to do anything, to please the one we ‘love’
You know, I remember that when I began to give prayerful consideration to the subject of whom I would marry, I spoke to my Father essentially these thing, “I have given you myself already and submitted my opinion and will, I am ready to marry any woman you chose for me irrespective of her social status, education, ethnicity, or background, so long as she is your child. The only one requirement I have is this – she must be a woman that loves you more than she loves me. Let her be a woman that would rather hurt me to please you than hurt you in order to satisfy me”. My friend, I tell you today, God answered that prayer literally!
- Pressure to ‘simplify’ your Christian convictions in order to make you a more likely consideration for possible marriage proposals.
To step down from your high moral standards in order to make yourself appealing to a suitor is the first step unto backsliding. Rather than step down, get him or her to step up.
- The ‘need’ to consent to an unbelieving suitor when a believing one isn’t forthcoming ‘and time isn’t on our side…’
God delays are not His denials. The brutally honest truth is this, it is better by far to stay single and make heaven than get married to an unbeliever that places your chances of eternal life at risk. It pays to wait.
- The undue ‘need’ to adjust your Christian lifestyle in order to measure up or match that of those your spouse/suitor appears to be attracted to or obsessed about.
It is not compromise that would make your spouse become enchanted by you again, it is practical bible wisdom applied daily by prayers. If you want to measure up to the people of the world, you will soon find out that you cannot beat them.
- The ‘need’ to meet up with the requirements and expectations of in-laws or would-be in-laws.
As they say, he who isn’t standing for something will eventually fall for anything. Honor God by remaining uncompromising in your Christian conviction no matter what. You will find out that eventually you will be the most respected and trusted in-law in that family.
- Lastly, and most importantly, unequal yoking.
Never, ever find any reason to marry anyone who isn’t a child of God! Understand this: God would never be an in-law to the devil.
What then is the ultimate consequence of such compromises?
- Basically, this eventually results in declination in spiritual alertness, a gradual collapse of personal consecration, a slow but sure desensitization concerning previously strongly-held convictions. Hence, things that once mattered no longer matter.
- Finally, this ends in outright spiritual blackout!
You definitely don’t want this to happen, do you?
Now, to keep this from happening, do these things:
- Pray hard and long before choosing a life-partner. Jeremiah 33: 3
- Seek the guidance of a more spiritual trusted brother or sister, preferably your pastor, before making this all-important decision. 20: 5
Do not disregard his impute. A Yoruba adage says, “what a young man cannot see standing on a mountain top, an elder can see it sitting down”.
Watch out for their silence too. Their silence is a loud and clear message, discern it!
- Expose yourselves to the same spiritual diet.
Understand this; in God’s house and at His table, while some children enjoy eating snacks, there are children in the house who will always go for solid food. Heb. 5: 14
- Make a mutual commitment to put God first before yourselves in all your decisions. Prov. 3: 3-5
- Set up a functional accountability system around your lives and marriage.
- Finally, make provision for regular, periodic re-evaluation and returning-to-your-roots retreat.
Are you already deeply guilty in this matter? Have you surrendered your relationship with God on the altar of marital relationship?
Do these things:
- Set time aside out of your busy life to diligently seek God’s face! Isaiah 30: 15
- Go back and re-connect with your spiritual mentors of your early days in the faith. Is. 51:1-2. Until you return back to your surface, you can’t successful clear your spring.
- Set out an arrangement for counseling for you and your spouse on the subject.
- Remain in submission and love through it all.
- When all has been said and done, let God do His work at His own pace; don’t help Him!
May the Lord establish our hearts by His grace; may we never substitute that which perishes not for that which is perishing already, may we not exchange the invaluable for the valueless.
May we have grace to have our priorities right at all times. Always keep in mind that at the end of the day, we can actually do without anything else and anyone else BUT GOD! He is the One with whom we all have to do.
Written by : Abayomi Aikulola +2347033311410